you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
