Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Randomize
