Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
