I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Semen is not good for contacts.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
