There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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