He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
