he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
