It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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