he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
