Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
