Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
