are you so shy because you have an std?
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
