she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I understand Curling. That high.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
