You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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