I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Randomize
