And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
