well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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