They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
