When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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