I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
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