How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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