my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
He shit in the fireplace
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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