its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
