Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
