Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
