Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
