Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
the day after is always just damage control
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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