when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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