Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
