just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
