She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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