Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
