Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
it was like eating out sand paper
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
