and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
