I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
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