Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
