i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
