i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
The power of my boobs compel you
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
