I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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