Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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