4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
