this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Well I just put wine in my tea
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
