Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
