What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
