so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
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