If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
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