But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
