Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Help. Why am I so naked?
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