Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Randomize
