Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
