the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
